An Atheist at Christmas and the Porn Career of Arnold Schwarzenegger
by: Max Brierley
So it’s the second week of our new system – no comic this week, folks – and I’m trying to think of something interesting to say. How about another shameless promotion for the new RR store ? A Glenn t-shirt would make a great Christmas gift for that weird cousin of yours who plays Warhammer and smells of Sudocrem.
Next week’s comic will be another RR Christmas tale; these are always fun to make. The era of the Christmas special is upon us, to the point where it actually feels odd not to acknowledge the season in our work. I suppose we could try to go against the grain and produce a non-festive comic in the spirit of rebellion, but Christmas specials are dumb and fun and hard to fuck up, so we’ll carry on the tradition and have some seasonal magic headed your way on Monday 23rd.
I can’t speak for anyone else, but for me being an atheist at Christmas has always carried with it a vague sense of guilty unease. The Jesus myth is, of course, a dangerous bunch of bullshit with only the most tenuous connection to anything like reality, and for a non-believer to keep any of its traditions is hypocritical to an extreme, but on the other hand, only a complete Grinch-dick could fail to have his heart warmed by the last scene of Bill Murray’s Scrooged or the first few bars of the Pogue’s ‘A Fairytale in New York’. I will even confess to a certain fondness for Jingle All the Way, if only to make it known that my quasi-erotic love of Arnold Schwarzenegger compels me to seek out and watch his entire cinematic oeuvre, including all of his speeches as Governator and, as soon as I can confirm their existence, the run of gay porn flicks he is rumoured to have starred in in his early days.
Christmas music too is always a (mostly non-ironic) laugh. As I write this I’m listening to Bob Dylan’s ‘Christmas in the Heart’ album and wondering if ol’ Zimbo’s recording it was motivated by yuletide spirit, religious devotion or pure cynicism of the ‘let’s-see-if-the-fuckers-will-buy-it’ variety. He sounds as if he’s been hitting the Bourbon pretty hard throughout; particularly good is ‘O Come All Ye Faithful’, which he sings in Latin for a few verses before switching, without warning or explanation, back to English midway through. I love it. Christmas for an atheist may be a complicated affair, but it needn’t be an unenjoyable one.
It’s my birthday on Thursday. This has nothing to do with anything; I just wanted to get the information out there.
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Get these fucking nuns away from me.